Nerd Dating: the greatest date ever-movie night in Part 5 more what to watch

Just continuing with my thoughts on genres and specific movies with regards to how they will work for movie night.

Horror-it is something of an urban myth that all women react to horror movies with a need to be held and an increase in libido.  This can be true of some women, but a lot of others might be so creeped out that they just want to lock all the doors and sleep with the lights on, especially if the movie in question featured a young couple making love while the monster sneaks up to impale them both on a sharpened lacrosse stick.  If she suggests a horror film than odds are good that she is in the former camp, but if she doesn’t you should not be the one to do it.  Also, be aware of the gore factor.  I can’t imagine any woman wanting to do anything remotely physical or intimate after watching Dead Alive.

Artsy foreign films-regardless of who suggests these, your date and your future relationship have just been smeared with the pungent oil of pretentiousness.  If she suggests it and you like foreign films than by all means go with it.  Just plan on being the couple all your friends secretly hate.  If she suggest them and you don’t like them, do a quick mental calculation of how horny you are for her versus how much inane artsy film school prattle you can stomach in an evening.  If you suggest it and she doesn’t like them know that she is doing the same exact calculation, only odds are she is a lot less horny.  Also, subtitled films tend to require more attention from the two of you, giving you less opportunity to pay attention to each other.  Furthermore, be aware that you can never really predict what a foreign art film is about from the title.  Man Bites Dog really isn’t about dogs, and has a grim violence level that will most likely put her off.  City of Lost Children really isn’t about children, and the surrealness of it does not make for great date material.  Do your research.

Artsy domestic films-a weird phenomenon is when trying to think of movies to suggest, your brain will tend to fall back onto the artsier films in some kind of attempt to impress her with your depth, rather than just pulling out something you will both enjoy.  The fact is most artsy films do not make a lot of money for a reason.  I won’t say that reason rhymes with “muck”, but you really have to be of the right mindset and mood to appreciate movies made for the art of it.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love artsy independent films.  I just would not suggest one of them for a first time hanging out with a girl.

Firefly-believe it or not, Firefly episodes make for a great date, as well as an awesome coolness test for your date.  Even if she has never seen it before, it is hard not to love it.  If she sees it and loves it you will have a great date and will have helped to create a new fan.  If she sees it and doesn’t like it then kick her ass out of your newly cleaned apartment for being a soulless, evil robot probably bent on extracting your life essence in a painful and protracted process.  You are better off without her.  If she is the one to suggest this then when you finally screw things up be sure to send her phone number to me (Jayne image courtesy of the Firefly t shirt category).

Actually, any decent Joss Whedan will work.

That’s it for tonight.  More tomorrow.


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