The Amazing Spider-Man Review
Can someone please explain to me why this movie was made?
I’m not saying it was bad (I’m also not saying it was good. Like so many movies lately it qualifies as entertaining and not a whole lot more). I’m just saying that the best term to use in describing this movie is unnecessary. It doesn’t add anything to the Spider-Man story as told by Sam Raime 10 years ago. It is a reboot, but not truly a reimagining. It doesn’t come up with anything new or exciting. That acting is not any better. The special effects are superior (after 10 years I would be shocked if they weren’t improved) but the action scenes are significantly less exciting or well shot. Overall it’s just another Spider-Man movie that will fade into the mishmash of other mediocre comic book movies like an Alka Seltzer tablet dropped into a toilet bowl.
(Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man image courtesy of the Marvel Comic T Shirt category)
It’s really hard to do a review about a franchise reboot without comparing it to the first film and since today is the 4th of July and I have a BBQ to get to I’m not even going to try. Honestly, this film, while better technologically, is not as good as the first Tobey MacGuire film. Sorry fan boys. There it is.
There are a few other words that could be used to describe this movie. I suppose I have to give them competent. The movie is competently made in the same way you expect your dentist to fill your cavity competently. You would be shocked if he was incompetent and drilled the wrong tooth, or slipped and drilled a hole into your brain. However, would you want to go to a tattoo artist who was merely competent? Obviously competence would be a requirement for a good tattoo artist, but I would want someone both creative and artistic, with the ability to come up with something amazing that I had not thought of myself. For a hallowed franchise such as Spider-Man competence is not enough. There are no glaring plot holes, bad direction, or bad acting. Just nothing mind blowing.
Another term I would use to describe this story is glossed over. Every aspect of the Spider-Man story felt rushed and glossed over. The spider bite? Glossed over. Remember how in the first one Peter Parker spent a lot of time trying to even figure out how to use his powers? They sort of did that here but rushed through it and kind of, well, glossed it over. Ben Parkers death and the dramatic effect it had on Peter Parker? Glossed over and hardly mentioned. Development of a villain to fight? Glossed over. The action scene were brief, glossed over, and felt included out of a sense of obligation rather than a desire to make an action film (I liken it to my mom forcing me to bring my little sister along to everything as a kid). Even the romance between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy, which seemed to dominate the screen time, felt stunted and malnourished. Critical aspects of it was seriously glossed over. I hate myself for saying this, but I found myself missing Kirstin Dunst as Mary Jane Parker. At least she and Tobey MacGuire had some on screen chemistry and the romance was allowed to develop organically. Here the romance is shoved on the screen and we are told they love each other but not offered any real evidence. The movie feels like they took every minor story from the Spider-Man canon and trimmed off all the corners in order to fit them all into a single 136 minute film. The funny thing is Sam Raime did the same thing and managed to come up with a great movie. Here it all just feels rushed and abbreviated.
Another term I could use here is enhanced, and I don’t mean it in a good way. The only time they really did anything different from the Sam Raime version is in making Peter Parker a super stud even before the spider bite. One of the greatest thing about Spider-Man is Peter Parker was pretty much a mundane “every man” before gaining his powers. In this film instead of being an awkward nerd about to graduate high school he is a good looking, skateboard riding, fashionable, scientific genius, contacts wearing hipster-esque dreamboat. There is none of the “Peter Parker coming of age” development that so aided the first couple movies (emo Peter Parker in the last one kind of derailed that aspect pretty badly).
A final word I will use to describe this movie is predictable. I don’t think I need to explain it any further.
Anyway, I could go on but won’t. Here is the story: Peter Parker gets bit by a genetically enhanced spider. Now go rent the 2002 Spider Man and you are good to go. Substitute Dr. Curtis Conner for Norman Osborne, the Lizard for the Green Goblin, Gwen Stacy for Mary Jane (blond for red head, basically), and Police Captain Stacy for J. Johah Jamison. Add in some odd ball continuity issues (how is it Peter Parker’s dad’s glasses are exactly Peters prescription?) and cut out a lot of the cooler story aspect in order to make more room for awkward chemistry-less romance. Get rid of the huge sweeping camera shots that made Spider Man swinging through NYC so cool and instead use the camera quick cut editing that has plagued movies for the last five years for everything that even smells like action. Throw in a grandiose evil villain plot that makes little sense and you are done.
By the way, a few weeks ago I posted a discussion as to why TWOK is the best of the Star Trek movies that I think applies to this movie in comparing it to the Sam Raimi one. If you recall, in the first movie the Green Goblin was more or less motivated to keep his company from being sold out from under him and then to either recruit Spider Man or destroy him. There was a personal and believable motivation that worked extremely well in conjunction with a well developed villain. In this movie Dr. Conners seems to have no real motivation for what his sceme is, and instead of having an axe to grind with Spider Man he has some dumb plan to save humanity by destroying it. The scope of the story actually hurts itself. Movies are always better when there is a personal reason for the antagonist to go after the protagonist. As soon as you expand his (or her) animosity to include the faceless unwashed masses of humanity you stop caring. As an audience we need to connect with a character and care about what happens to him or her. There isn’t enough caring to be had for the entire population of New York City.
Another issue I had was something Jason brought up a while ago about Spider Man running around without his mask on. In the comics he was religious about always wearing the mask. He never, ever ran around in the suit without it, to the point that even as a zombie he always wore the mask and talked about how it reminded him of his humanity. In this movie he couldn’t find enough excuses to take off the mask while wearing the suit. It’s like someone filled it with itching powder.
Finally, there were some real inconsistencies with regards to Spider Man’s powers. Did he have spidey sense or not? Sometimes it seemed like he did, like when he had to dodge bullets fired from three feet away. Other times he couldn’t sense a bus coming at him. Can he cling to buildings or not? He seems to do it all the time but then at the end needs someone to save him and haul his ass up the side of a building. When you see it you will understand.
Sigh. The stars. Comic book movie. Two stars. I am a Spider Man fan and will give it a bonus star for that. One star. No real glaring plot holes. One star. In spite of the difficulty in generating chemistry, I thought almost all of the acting was pretty well done. One star. I am a huge Emma Stone fan (Crazy, Stupid Love, Zombieland, the Help). I wasn’t really digging her as a blond but still. One star. CGI and special effects were nigh flawless. One star. Overall I was generally entertained and felt I got my money’s worth. Two stars. Total: nine stars.
The black holes. Somehow not quite getting the story right IMO. One black hole. Very limited action, and what action there was felt purposefully shortened and rushed through. One black hole. The whole “glossing over” of so much of the canon. One black hole. Peter Parker as the cool kid. One black hole. It feels weird calling a movie derivative when it pretty much clones the original. I guess I will have to say I am awarding a black hole for lack of imagination or vision. One black hole. Finally, one more for creating a totally unnecessary film. This is basically the appendix of movies. One black hole. Total: six black holes.
A grand total of three stars, which in my mind is a terrible score for a comic book movie. The Avengers scored a total of nine stars, and in my opinion is pretty much exactly three times as good. I still want to see the Avengers a second time, and honestly would not see this one again. Should you see it once? Sure, why not? It’s not bad, and you will probably enjoy it. However, a year from now it will have faded into the background. Overall it seems made more for kids that adults, and the kids in the audience seemed to love it (especially the little rug rat next to me who spilled his drink all over the floor, ruining my popcorn and more or less screaming through the first 30 minutes of the film until his dad had to take him out. Kids are generally cool, but parents generally suck). See it on a big screen, and honestly this is one of the few movies I am going to recommend you see in 3D. Seems like most of the action was designed to go better in 3D. Date movie? I supposed. This is another one that will neither enhance nor inhibit your campaign to get her into bed with you. Bathroom break? Dead easy. The dinner scene with Peter, Gwen, and her family is 100% worthless filler. The first time you see Peter Parker tap on Gwen’s window feel free to cut out, use the restroom, check your email, make a couple phone calls, and chat with the theater manager for five minutes.
By the way, during the course of writing this review I found out an answer to my original question as to why they made this film. Turns out the Sony license for Spider Man requires them to produce a movie in a timely manner or else it reverts back to Marvel (Disney). They had to rush something out and opted to go with mediocre rather than good. Too bad.
Thanks for reading, and I’m truly sorry I couldn’t gush about this movie a little more. It’s not bad. It’s just not great. Follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu.com. I don’t know if I am going to have time to see a lot of films this week as I am getting ready for Comic Con. If you have comments on this movie or my review feel free to post them here. If you have off topic questions or suggestions email me at [email protected]. Have a great 4th of July! Talk to you soon.
Dave
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