Nerd Dating: the fine art of making out part 1
So you’ve successfully kissed her without her screaming, punching you in the balls, or macing you. Congratulations. Now what.
You have just crossed the border into the make out zone. This is a good zone and one that women actually like, as it is fun and doesn’t have all the baggage associated with actually having sex has (as a matter of fact, in my dating history I have successfully answered the question “What do you want to do now?” with “I don’t know. I thought we could go back to your place and make out” and had it work. I don’t recommend you do this yourself as it is both situational and potentially explosive, but there it is).
Before we get into how to proceed, let’s set our definitions. In an effort to cater to every American cliche possible I will be using the classic baseball base system. For those of you unfamiliar here are the base definitions:
First base: Kissing with tongue, for the most part. You should already be here in this part of the progression.
Second base: Feeling under shirt, but over bra and undergarments. This is usually as far as you can reasonably expect to get on the first make out session.
Third base: Everything but. More or less nudity without actual, full on intercourse. Getting stopped here makes for a bad drive home.
Home run: Congratulations. You have now joined the procreating portion of the human race. Share this URL with your less apt friends and try to not disappoint her.
In truth, there are about 20 other bases between second and the home plate, but we don’t have any sports with 24 bases so the metaphor kind of falls apart. Furthermore, that is as graphic as I intend to get, so if you really need more instructions when you hit a home run I am sure you can find it elsewhere.
Short post for now. Next post I will discuss how far to push the bases as you make out with your girl.
Yesterday’s question, Jar Jar Binks versus Chaka (yes, I know I spelled it wrong yesterday. Stop spamming me about it please), kind of annoys me. I can only hope that Jar Jar gets beat up by everything surrounding him on a regular basis including plants and fungus, but the truth is he seems quicker and has the reach on Chaka. Also, while Chaka looks fairly primitive he seems to lack the feral teeth and claws that would make him a true combat beast. I have to regretfully bet on Jar Jar.
Today’s question is more serious: Jayne Cobb with Vera versus the Punisher (Jayne image courtesy of the Firefly t shirt category).
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