Nerd Dating: Online Dating pt 15: interpreting photos
This will be my last post on photos for now, and it will be quick as I am going out to dinner with some friends. Let’s get into it.
Party photo. You know, the person in question sitting on a couch that looks like it was rescued from a toxic land fill surrounded by a bunch of poorly dressed losers and one guy in the background talking to the only hot girl in the place. Everyone has a beer in one hand and there is a bong on the table. That photo? This person, guy or girl, seriously wishes they were back in college still. Not that I blame them. There are many times I wish I were back in college. However, as for dating material this person will be kind of a drag and can’t really let go.
Person in photo hitting a bong. OK. You have hopefully read any number of these posts and my interpretations on photos. Hopefully you have gleaned a little skill in this area. Do I really need to explain this one to you? Let’s call it a pop quiz. I’m sure you can figure it out.
Person in Halloween costume. If this is a girl, odds are she is pretty cool and would make a great girlfriend, unless it happens to be a cat costume, in which case stay as far away from her as possible. Be aware, however, that masks and makeup can often hide some horrific blemish so if she is dressed like a witch and has no other photos up there is a pretty good chance the wart on her nose is not just good special effects. If it is a guy and he is dressed as something from comic books or science fiction odds are he is a pretty cool nerd (unless it’s something from Harry Potter, in which case I would say pull the rip cord). If he’s in something else use your best judgment. However, if he is dressed as a woman I guarantee he is an ex frat boy and likely in the closet as well.
Guy on a motorcycle. Ugh. Unless he is actually a Hell’s Angel odds are he is some kind of loser who wants desperately to be a bad boy. He probably drives a delivery truck for Coors and has a history of fairly abusive relationships. Also there is a very good chance he got the bike just because he knows it impresses dumb women. I’ve never seen a personal with a girl on a motorcycle, so I have no basis upon which to comment. My gut tells me she is probably pretty cool but likes to be in charge. If you have any info email it to me.
On a Vespa scooter. If a guy I can promise he is a hipster scooter guy, which can be both good or bad (or both). If he is gainfully employed it is likely to be good. If not it is probably bad. Either way, however, you had best have a high tolerance for pretension and crappy garage bands. If this is a girl either she is the female, albeit somewhat cooler and more tolerable, version of the hipster scooter guy or she loves Italy and has fantasies of living there. Either way she is probably pretty cool and worth going out with, as long as you like to travel.
I gotta get going, so I lied and will actually post one more on pictures tomorrow. I’m actually having a lot of fun with this particular topic. As for yesterdays who-would-win question, Jack Burton versus Buckaroo Banzai, first of all let me say I hope it never would come down to this as these two are both great and I truly hope they never have to cross swords. That being said, I am going to have to bet on Buckaroo Banzai, but it wouldn’t be close. He just seems more ready to deal with weird situation. (Pork Chop Express (from Big Trouble in Little China) image courtesy of the many nerd t shirts)
For today I ask a true nerd question: who would win, the crew from Revenge of the Nerds versus the gang from Scooby Doo?
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