By / 21st March, 2014 / funny t shirts, T-Shirts / No Comments

Divergent Review

I kind of liked it.

Divergent

Yeah, not bad.  It’s definitely better than all the Twilight movies lumped together.  Not as good as the Hunger Games IMO but if this were a a fancy awards banquet the two movies could sit at the same table rather than out in the alley dining on fried rat like the Host or Mortal Instruments.  Of all the lame attempts to launch a new franchise for teenie bopper girls since Hunger Games this is probably the one most likely to succeed.

Why is it not as good as Hunger Games?  Well, I think Catniss is a more interesting character and the girl playing her does a more credible job but honestly it boils down to how many questions come to my mind about the society the movie is sent in and how dumb it sounds.  The world of the Hunger Games kind of makes sense to me.  After a revolution the country is broken up into districts where the lower classes are repressed while the upper crust lives a lavish and decadent lifestyle with a taste for blood sports (1,000 years from now when historians are discussing the decline and fall of Western civilization (haw!) it will be realized that Reality TV is the gladiatorial blood sport of the first part of this millenia).  It all makes a kind of sense to me and with a realistic future context the movie does too.

Much less so with this film.  In the world of Divergent society has been broken up into five factions: Abnegation (The Selfless), who live a life of poverty and community service; Erudite (The Intelligent), who are the brainy scientists and big brain thinkers; Dauntless (The Brave), who are super sexy soldiers and action guys; Amity (The Peaceful), who are farmers and such; and Candor (The Honest), who tell the truth always and tend to be judges and lawyers (there’s the very first real disconnect).  Each kid is given a test to recommend what group to join but at 18 they can go anywhere they like.  So at age 18 a kid is supposed to choose to be a super cool action hero, a nerdy scientist, or one of three types of slave.  Anyone else see a problem with that?  Why would any kid not choose Dauntless?  Within a generation the society would be like 88% Dauntless, 6% Erudite, 3% Candor, and the remaining 3% would choose the life of a street cleaner or plow horse.  You make your decision in the space of a few seconds and are committed for life.  A life of poverty and selflessness is something you decide to do at 45, not 18.

There is a lot of talk about how this is the perfect society but does forcing a kid at 18 to choose his or her life forever with no chance of change sound like a recipe for happiness?  Also what is up with this breakdown of humanity into five groups?  Dauntless is supposed to be there to protect everyone from…something?  Someone?  In the first ten minutes I figured out that the only group that Dauntless would have to protect their society from would be Dauntless and lo was it so.  They made an effort to show that the groups were more or less equal in numbers so that means that this society has a standing army of 20% of it’s population?  Who grow nothing and contribute nothing to the betterment of society other than protecting everyone from some threat that hasn’t manifested itself in over 100 years?  20% is lawyers, 20% public servants, etc.  It doesn’t make sense.  The story is basically about Erudite using Dauntless to take over the society but the leaders of Dauntless all seemed like a-hole sociopaths too so why did Dauntless not take over like 80 years ago?

Also only 20% of the population is farmers who look like they farm by hand.  Seems like not a lot of food production going on.  Also who manufactures all the high tech semi-automatic rifles and brain control drugs?  If 80% of your society is in the military, government, law, and science that puts a lot of pressure on the last 20% all of whom seem to think that a three crop rotation system is a newfangled idea.

Also the city of Chicago is pretty well wrecked but they have the resources to build hi tech research facilities?  No one has the inclination or resources to rebuild or knock down wrecked buildings?  No danger of any of them collapsing and killing a few hundred people.  They had the resources to build the worlds biggest wall to protect them from…who was that again?  I’m a big fan of dystopian and post-apocalyptic futures but you can’t have your cake and eat it too.  You can’t have your characters wandering the set of Escape from New York and then hang out in the Apple Store.

Speaking of the wall they talk about how it works to protect the city from…someone.  I guess their mysterious enemies have forgotten the secret of gunpowder and artillery.  Static walls as a defense went the way of the crossbow about the time Napoleon was conquering the Europe.

DivergentSo the Erudites develop mind control technology and use it to get control of Dauntless and take over the city at gun point.  Why not just say “Hey, we’ve developed a new immunization for the dread disease Exploding Head Syndrome (EHS).  Everyone in the city come get it in the next two weeks” and then just run the show?

You see what I mean?  The more questions that come to mind of an average everyman such as myself the less believable the whole premise is.  Every time an audience member says “Hmm…” you are bleeding credibility.  All that aside (plus a few more that I didn’t bother to add to this review) the movie was engaging and interesting.

However let me talk about one thing last thing.  I guess since Twilight the recipe for success with teenage girls who read this sort of thing is a main female character who as bland as possible and Tris could win a lifetime achievement award for being the blandiest.  I’m not kidding when I say that every supporting character in this film was more interesting than she up to and including her super bland brother.  I’m willing to bet that a lot of marketing research goes into this sort of thing and Hollywood has determined that teenage girls find it easier to project themselves into the main role when that character has the personality of a human shaped Roomba.  It works but makes things harder for those of us who appreciate a little complexity in our characters.  I’m not looking for Roy Batty or Marge Gunderson here but give me something more interesting than the HAL 9000.

Spoilers incoming so if you are going to see it and haven’t read the book skip ahead.  The story is of young Tris (Shailene Woodley-the Descendants, the Magnificent Now, the Secret Life of an American Teenager), a girl who grew up in Abnegation with her mother Natalie (Ashley Judd-Heat, Double Jeopardy, Olympus has Fallen), father Andrew (Tony Goldwyn-the Last Samurai, Ghost, the 6th Day), and brother Caleb (Ansel Elgort-Carrie, the Fault in Our Stars, Men Women and Children).  She goes in for her test and is told by tester Tori (Maggie Q-Priest, Live Free or Die Hard, Nikita) that she failed to qualify for any of the factions and is Divergent.  You wouldn’t think that such a big deal since each kid can choose anyway but apparently it is.  She is told to say she tested out Abnegation.

DivergentThe next day at the choosing ceremony her brother goes Erudite and she goes Dauntless.  This is a big deal as it severely discredits Abnegation’s qualifications to run the city or something.  She then enters a fairly cool training sequence (as a fan of Kung Fu movies I love training montages) with fellow novices Christina (Zoe Kravitz-X Men First Class, After Earth, the Brave One.  Lenny Kravitz daughter BTW and looking super duper cute), Will (Ben Lloyd-Hughes-The Scapegoat, Tormented, Great Expectations), Al (Christian Madsen-the Brazen Bull, Lost in the Woods, Refuge from the Storm), and jerk Peter (Miles Teller-can someone please tell Hollywood that I hate this guy?  I have despised every other movie that he as done and were we in high school together I would want to see him get his ass kicked daily.  Funny T ShirtsHere are three movies that I crapped all over with him in them: Project X, 21 and Over, That Awkward Moment.  So Annoying image from the Funny T Shirt collection).  Their trainer is Four (Theo James-the Inbetweeners, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, Underworld: Awakening) under his commander Eric (Jai Courtney-Jack Reacher, I Frankenstein, A Good Day to Die Hard).

The training is hard and the lowest ranked trainees are destined to be kicked out to be homeless.  At first Tris sucks but over time gets better.  However her Divergent nature is constantly in danger of being recognized and that would result in her death.  Four coaches her.  She passes her test but it turns out that the reason Divergents are hated is that the mind control technology doesn’t work on them.  Erudite tries to take over and things fall apart.

The stars:

Unlike Twilight there was some cool action, and unlike Mortal Instruments it wasn’t all about some Buffy wannabe kicking the crap out of people.  Kind of fun and believable.  One star.  In spite of all my questions the story wasn’t irredeemable.  It was like Swiss cheese.  Full of (plot) holes but the stuff surrounding the holes was good to eat.  One star.  Most of the characters were engaging.  Even Shailene Woodley did the best she could with the role she was given.  One star.  A good training montage is a balm to my reviewer soul.  One star.  I’ve had a thing for Maggie Q ever since Priest, and Zoe Kravitz is a heartbreaker.  Shailene is easy to look at too.  One star.  There were some really good cinematographics.  The hallucinations were good and there was a zip line sequence that I enjoyed watching a lot.  One star.  The wrecked Chicago sets were cool, especially the flying over the city panning shots.  One star.  In general a fun movie.  Two stars.  Total: nine stars.

The black holes:

No way I can let that many plot and setting holes slip by unscathed.  Look at the list of questions from above.  Two black holes.  The whole super hi tech society living hand in hand with the set of the Road Warrior hurt the tone.  Make up your mind.  One black hole.  Normally I would ding a film like this for PG-13 but honestly it didn’t hurt the action much and I didn’t feel any need for nudity (well, any more than I do on a daily basis).  No black hole there.  The blandness of the main character drained my ability to connect with her and the romance between Tris and Four had all the chemistry of mixing two different brands of bottled water together.  One black hole.  Total: four black holes.

A grand total of 5 stars.  Honestly not bad, and when compared to the other plastic surgery disasters (haw! again.  I’m really feeling my punk rock roots today) jumping on board the “this is the new Twilight” train quite good.  Should you watch it?  If you liked Hunger Games absolutely.  If you like fun movies yes.  If you want a complex character to sink your brain teeth into probably not.  Date movie?  For sure.  You will not be bored yourself and if my theory on bland female teenage action movie protagonists holds true you will have a greatly enhanced chance of getting laid (my own chance might have even skyrocketed into the positive integers!).  Bathroom break?  This film clocks in at a massive 139 minutes so odds are you will need one.  I’d say the scene right after Four rescues Tris from some of her classmates could be missed pretty easily.

Thanks for reading.  I will be seeing the new Muppets movie shortly and will try to write it up tomorrow.  Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu.  Post comments on this film here or send off topic questions and suggestions to [email protected].  Talk to you soon.

Dave

 


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