By / 27th October, 2014 / Funny t shirt, T-Shirts / No Comments

John Wick Review Part 3

The recap.  John Wick (Keanu Reeves) is a recently widowed husband who’s wife died of some unnamed disease (I love this part where I get to make up a disease.  For this review I am going to say she died of loupus garou, although given what’s going on in the world I should probably go with feebola) who gave him a puppy to remember her by and he spends his day doing donuts in his Mustang.  The piggish son (Alfie Allen) of the local Russian mob boss (Michael Nyqvist) wants the car and steals it.  Funny T ShirtHe also kills the dog (sorry I know the image is in bad taste but I couldn’t resist.  It comes from the funny t shirt category BTW).  The mob boss has a ton of goons and deploys them.  At that point the story boils down to shoot-stab-shoot-stab-shoot-stab and by that I mean it gets awesome.  Oh yeah, some guys get hit with cars and for some reason William Dafoe and the hot girl from Red Dawn (Adrianne Palicki) show up to shoot and stab a few guys.

Star Trek t-shirts

3.5 of 5 Decent

So what did I think?  I had a blast and so did most of the packed theater with me.  It’s the kind of mindless violence all men secretly crave (ladies, any guy who denies this is lying to you.  We all want to shoot and stab things) without turning into a stupid joke portrayed by a dude with an English accent and no hair.  It’s not mind blowing or even good from a story point of view and if I hadn’t enjoyed the violence so much I could find dozens of loose threads with which to unravel the entire film but I won’t.  Want to see a bunch of guys get shot and/or stabbed?  This is the movie for you.  Want to have a complete story with character arcs, complexities, people having feelings besides anger, and very few guys getting shot or stabbed?  Go see the Grand Budapest Hotel.  3.5 out of 5 Phasers.

the Infamous Dave Inman

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