A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: How to start talking to them Part 8

Sorry again about not posting as frequently as I would like, but I have been super busy getting ready for the Quake City Rumble, the biggest Warhammer tournament I do every year.  It was this last weekend and I am happy to report that I received the Best Army award and placed 5th out of over 100 competitors.  Now I should have some more time to continue with this guide for all you single nerd guys out there.

Ok, you’ve started a conversation, you’ve managed to not offend or disgust her, and things seem to be moving nicely.  What next?

The answer is simple.  Get her number (or email address) and bug out.  DO NOT spend all night talking to her.  I’ve covered that before, but really, you should get her number within 10-15 minutes of starting a conversation.  If you have a limited time (bus is arriving, etc) make it quicker, but by no means extend the conversation beyond about 15 minutes.  Get it quick.

Any experienced sales professional (I worked in sales for years) will tell you that you will never get the deal until you ask for it, and the same holds true for women.  YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER.  She will never volunteer to give you it.  In fact, most women are so insecure that they will not even be sure that you like them until you ask.  Asking her for her number will cement in her mind the idea that you like her and she will be able to tell you if she likes you or not (if she opts to not give you her number, the answer is she does not.  Live with it).  Also, if you don’t man up and ask odds are she will think you are some kind of wimp.  Women like confidence.

I have always found that the best way to get a number or email address is, after a pleasant, engaging conversation (with her actively participating) is to say something like “Hey, we should hang out sometime.”  Don’t be specific (unless she has expressed a massive interest in something.  For example, if she has said she is a massive bull riding fan you could suggest going to a rodeo).  She will know what you mean, and that will give you time to figure out what the hell you are going to do when you go out.  If she thinks you are kind of cool, interesting, or sexy (remember all that grooming and dressing we did earlier?) she will probably say sure.  You can also judge how much she likes you by the type of contact info she gives you.  Here is a breakdown.

Cell phone number=Great!

Business card=Good.

Email address=Ok

Horror Movie T-ShirtsFacebook page=Meh. (image courtesy of the horror movie t-shirts)

She takes your business card=Bleh.

She takes your number=Uh-oh.

By the way, even though giving her your card is second to the last worst result, it is always worth doing.  Business cards cost about $.02 each and are well worth it for the “Hail Mary” when all else fails.  I was out with a group once and gave a bunch of people my card and the one girl I liked ended up calling me.  Don’t give up, but don’t really expect a call.  By the way, always have business cards with you.  You never know when something could drop in your life.

Put her number or email into your phone (hopefully iPhone).

Once you get her number or whatever, get out.  There is a pattern to these things and once you get the number, in most people’s minds the conversation is done.  Do not keep talking to here as it will only feel awkward and make you look really lame.  Say something like “Thanks.  I’ll talk to you soon” and move onto the next girl.  Really.  Don’t screw up all your work.

Next post, how to call and hopefully avoid this the let’s be friends speech.

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