Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
What’s the deal with all the Jack movies?
Image courtesy of the Official Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit website.
Yes, this is what I was thinking about as I left the theater. It seems if there were a Baby Name Book for movies the first 60 pages would all be Jack over and over again with the last 10 pages all being variations on “dead”, “night”, “house”, and “love” (read what you will of me from that selection of words). Jack Reacher, Jack and Jill, Jack and the Giant Slayer, Percy Jackson, Kangaroo Jack, You Don’t Know Jack, and my own personal favorite: Jack Reed: Monster Slayer. I’m sure there is some logical, marketed demographic reason for this having to do with a strong one syllable masculine name that ends on a hard -k sound that is supposed to appeal to Americans but based on what I see I would not discount the possibility that Hollywood is overburdened with uncreative bozos who just feed off each other like a human centipede sewn into a circle. (Samurai Jack is the only media Jack worthy of the name. Image courtesy of the TV Show T Shirt category)
Also, does Hollywood never learn from their mistakes? Name a movie with a relatively unknown generic male name that has done well. Remember John Carter and Jack Reacher? Tank city. I might call this borderline stupid if we were talking about different studios and genres, but Jack Reacher and Jack Ryan are both from Paramount and both involve super capable white males doing spy-ish stuff. That goes beyond the pale of stupidity into functionally brain dead zone.
As for the myth that the name Jack Ryan was supposed to be recognized enough to put asses in seats I can tell you that I am 44, have seen all the other John Clancy movies, and couldn’t have told you who the hell Jack Ryan is supposed to be. When I see that name I think Saving Private Ryan and I can promise you that anyone younger than me not only doesn’t know but doesn’t give a crap who he is. Honestly a title like “Super Awesome Spy Guy: Shadow Recruit” would have been 100 times better.
I’ve read a couple Tom Clancy novels and they can be summed up as follows: America rules and the rest of the world sucks and hates us for it. This is the kind of pap that really appeals to white Americans in the flyover states and as such this movie is a tremendous success. Never before has America been more awesome (or whiter. I’ve seen more racial diversity in a gallery of marble statues. The only black guy in the whole thing gets killed early on trying to murder Jack. There was an Asian girl but she had like two lines and spent most of the time working a computer. Stereotype much?) or more threatened by our old nemesis, those dastardly Russians. Look, I’m an American and proud of it but that doesn’t mean I think we are flawless and I resent what I really see as being pandered to. It’s OK for another country to not suck and hate us IMO.
There is another problem I’m seeing in these spy novels adapted to movies and that is the stories are generally so complex that it is nigh impossible to not have gaping plot holes unless you want to add two hours of expository scenes. Clear and Present danger really didn’t have these problems, nor did the Hunt for Red October but in both cases they weren’t really spy movies. I’m just saying as soon as you go spy the need to stay under six hours hurts the continuity of the film.
I also don’t want to give you the idea that I thought this movie was bad. It wasn’t great, but if you want to be entertained by a slightly more complex story, are willing to swallow a plot hole or two, don’t feel the need to have most of the connecting plot explained to you, and have ever pleasured yourself to a picture of a hot girl wrapped in an American flag and caught yourself looking at the flag more than the girl this movie will be right up your alley. For all it’s title failure it is a functional movie and will succeed in it’s goal of entertaining you for a couple hours (Feel free to use that quote as a blurb on the back of your DVD release Paramount. “It is a functional movie and will succeed in it’s goal of entertaining you for a couple hours.” -TheNerdBlog)
The story. Jack Ryan (Chris Pine-Star Trek (bleh), Rise of the Guardians, This Means War) is going to school for his PhD in economics when 9-11 happens and he joins the Marines. His helicopter gets shot down and he spends months in rehab. While there a shadowy CIA guy name Thomas Harper (Kevin Costner-Field of Dreams, Dances with Wolves, Waterworld (am I the only one who kind of liked that movie?)) recruits him to be a financial analyst looking for terrorist holdings on Wall Street. Meanwhile he falls in love with the hottest optometrist ever (sorry Cindy. You are very hot) and they get engaged (Keira Knightley-the whole Pirates of the Caribbean series, Pride and Prejudice, Laggies (?)).
Jack uncovers some weird discrepancies from a Russian company and Harper sends him off to Moscow to investigate. When he arrives his black bodyguard tries to kill him for no discernible reason and Jack drowns him in a bathtub. The next morning he meets the head of the Russian company Victor Cherevin (Kenneth Branagh-Frankenstein, Henry V, Valkyrie) who seems to have forgotten he ordered Jack killed. Cherevin sold all the companies Jack was there to audit, making his trip worthless. Jack invites him to dinner for no discernible reason.
Back at the hotel he finds his fiance hanging out. Harper tells them the need to work together that night so that Jack can sneak out and steals some data having to do with Cherevin’s nefarious plot. I don’t want to spoil this film so I won’t go into details. At that point Jack goes full on James Bond and is pretending he’s 007 until the last few minutes of the film.
The stars.
I thought Kevin Costner was pretty good. He does the sort-of good, sort-of bad guy well. One star. In terms of what makes a movie there were no obvious defects. Film work, editing, continuity, direction, and pacing were decent. One star for not screwing up I guess. The best part was the fight scenes were totally believable. Jack Ryan is not a super man who can kill a guy with a single punch. His one big fist fight early on with the body guard was brutal and desperate. One star. While the film groaned under the weight of the PG-13 rating the director managed to still make the action worth seeing, something of a serous task. One star. In general not a waste of my time (<–another great box blurb! You are welcome). One star. Total: five stars.
The black holes.
There were a few glaring plot holes that were probably explained in the book but didn’t make it to the screen. Why did the body guard try to kill Jack? Why did they wait until the got to the hotel instead of just driving him to a dark alley and shooting him there? When Jack showed up at Cherevin’s office very much alive why didn’t Cherevin make the logical assumption that Jack killed the guy and is a secret agent? In reality he should have tossed Jack off the building for a unhealthy dose of kinetic energy poisoning. One black hole. Also at one point the bank accounts that the Russians were using totaled over $2,000,000,000.00. The GNP of Russia is $3,261,000,000.00. Do they really think we are going to believe that Russia would dedicate 62% of their entire nations earnings on some hair brained scheme that relies on some emo kid driving a van into a sewer? I’m pretty sure the number in the book was much more reasonable but the producers of this flick decided they needed a more impressive sounding number and that none of the audience would have the intellect to look it up. Glad to prove you wrong jackasses. Anyway, one black hole. The uber American Clancy jingoism is a little hard to take although I walked into the theater looking for it so I might be overly sensitive. I’m not wrong the the lack of racial diversity however. One black hole. Total: three black holes.
A grand total of two stars. I will admit I really held myself back on the black holes. This film didn’t feel like a black hole film but I couldn’t find enough reasons to give it stars. Competently made mediocre pap for white middle class America basically. I’m sure your parents will love it. Should you see it? Meh. If you fit into one of the categories I mentioned previously as being good candidates for liking it sure. You will forget it in short order however. I’d say wait for NetFlix or use it for a chance to spend some time with mom and dad without having to talk to them. Date movie? Another big meh. Chris Pine is pretty hot so you will not be doing yourself any favors once you step into the lobby and she can see you clearly. Bathroom break? There’s a scene towards the end when they are on a plane trying to track down the bad guys. If you can live with the idea that eventually they just find them this would be an opportune moment.
Thanks for reading. Lots more to see so keep checking back. Feel free to follow me on Twitter @NerdKungFu. Leave any comments on this film or my review here, and off topic questions or suggestions can be emailed to [email protected]. Talk to you soon.
Dave
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