Intersteller review part 4
Story recap (spoilers incoming. Skip to part 5 if you want to miss them):
I’m going to do this blitz style with extra sarcasm and want to run a counter on all the sub plots that surface like a whale breaching but then never appear again like this (0). Cooper (Matthew McConaughey) is a farmer and ex NASA test pilot who is haunted by a crash for like the first 15 minutes of the film but then fortunately forgets it in time to progress the plot (1) (everyone knows the greatest test pilot is Hal Jordan. Ferris Aircraft image courtesy of the Green Lantern t shirt category). His son is smart but in spite of Coops desire has been rejected by college and is basically forced to become a farmer (2). They live in the near future where a crop blight (or something) has caused most of the population to die off and everyone is a farmer (3)(note-in spite of this being in the future they all pretty much run around in early 21st century cars and technology except when the prop guy decides he wants to create a super advanced Lego robots). His daughter Murph gets into trouble at school for bringing in evidence that man landed on the moon when the new “edited” history says it was all faked (4). Apparently NASA is illegal or something because everyone hates science and anything that doesn’t just grow more food (5). There is a ghost in Murphs bedroom that keeps knocking books down and one day writes some map coordinates in the dust. These lead Coop and Murph to the nearby NASA headquarters where they are spending hundreds of billions of dollars while the world starves without anyone noticing (5).
So Coop gets captured by the Lego robots and finds out that NASA is trying to fly though a wormhole (if you have ever read A Wrinkle in Time this will feel awfully familiar) to find a new planet for humans to live on and have already sent through 12 ships (build on which budget exactly?). They are going to send through one more ship and Coop is THE ONLY HUMAN WHO CAN FLY THE SHIP EVER! He leaves his kids who come to hate him (6) and goes into suspended animation along with Anne Hathaway and a couple of red shirts.
They arrive in a system with three planets orbiting a black hole (???) and apparently have no way of evaluating the planets from space or even talking to any of the humans who have already landed there. The closest one has the one hour to seven years time dilation (???) so they try to do it quickly but instead lose like 20 years when they discover the planet is covered with knee deep water and tidal waves (kind of what you might be able to see from space normally). They then only have enough fuel to hit one more planet and have to chose between one or the other. Turns out that Anne Hathaway was in love with the guy on the further planet (7) and believes that love is as powerful a force as gravity but is outvoted so they can go to the closer one.
Meanwhile, back on Earth Coops son has been driving the same pickup truck for 20 years and has a wife, a sick kid, and a burning hatred for Coop (8). Murph (Jessica Chastain) was adopted by the scientist in charge of the whole project and now is a super scientist herself. She is trying to figure out how to get the super ship off the ground using gravity while the head scientist and father of Anne’s character (Michael Caine) has been lying to everyone about the theory. She hates Coop too (9) but wants to figure out the problem.
Meanwhile back in space the crew land on the closer planet to find the Dr. Mann (Matt Damon) still alive and waiting for them to come down and set up a new colony. He claims that while the frozen clouds that they are all on (???) have lots of chlorine down on the surface it is habitable but is lying for some reason (also wouldn’t any amount of chlorine be bad? Ever heard of mustard gas?). He wanted to be rescued so sucked them all in. He attacks Coop but then blows himself up trying to get aboard the main ship after killing off the other red shirt. Coop and Brand (Anne) get aboard the ship and are pretty much out of fuel.
They figure out a way to get to the last planet by using the thrusters on the two remaining shuttles and by having them drop off (I don’t want to go back on science but the simply having something fall off your space ship will not make it go faster). Meanwhile Brand thinks if they can get data from inside the black hole they might be able to solve the gravity problem Murph is working on. They fly off and first send one of the Lego robots into the black hole and they Coop himself for some reason. Good thing the tidal gravity alone wouldn’t be enough to tear him apart, or the heat in the accretion disk or for that matter tiny bits of matter traveling at massive speeds.
I hope you are all wearing eye protection because you are going to have a lot of loose plot threads flying together all at once. Coop successfully enters the black hole but instead of being rendered down to his base elements find himself inside an Escher cave that allows him to see any time he wants to as long as it is inside Murphs bedroom. Here is the massive twist: it turns out he was the ghost inside Murphs room the whole time and can push books off the shelf but can’t otherwise communicate with her. He figures out how to tell her about NASA and eventually gives her the clues she needs to solve the gravity problem after Murph burns down her brothers crop (10).
He eventually falls out of the black hole (that can happen, right?) and is picked up just outside of Saturn in the future. Humanity now lives in giant space stations (wait a minute! If they could create self contained environments in space for humans why didn’t they just dig a hole and do the same thing on Earth?) and Murph is an old lady. He steals a ship to go looking for Brand, who ends the film by herself raising a colony of test tube babies on a desolate world while feeding them rocks and boogers.
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Intersteller review Part 5
In conclusion…
Very disappointing, honestly. I had real hope for this film and have seen about 200 trailers for it. In the past I would have said I was a fan of Christopher Nolan but in light of this film and the most recent Batman fiasco (Batman hoodie image from our massive Batman collection) I think I am going to have to amend that to say that I am a fan of Inception. If you are not a fan of sci fi but want to dip your toe in the water to see what all the fuss is about you will probably enjoy it (unless movies dragging on forever with a myriad of plot threads makes you mad) but don’t think that makes you qualified to discuss what makes a good sci fi film with me.
2.5 of 5 Meh.
I had a choice between seeing this film or Big Hero 6 and now I wish I had watched the cartoon (or any film with a coherent plot). 2.5 of 5 phasers.
Speaking of Big Hero 6, the reason I didn’t see it is I am going to watch it with some friends and then film a video review with them. Very exciting and I will be mentioning it a lot in future blogs and via Twitter and Facebook. You don’t like us on FB or follow on Twitter? Get on it! There is some good stuff on there (and my blog posts).
the Infamous Dave Inman
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A question about replicators from Star Trek
So I have been watching Star Trek DS9 lately and enjoying it in spite of it being a Rick Berman project but something keeps bothering me about it. Like any society that has effectively unlimited resources the Federation doesn’t really use currency. If you ever read any of the Culture books by Iain Banks this will make total sense to you. The use of replicators by the Federation means that anyone can effectively have any food or item they want.
In DS9 we have Quark and his bar. The entire Ferengi race is obsessed with earning gold pressed latinum. I have learned from Memory Alpha that latinum cannot be replicated…because you know, science but Quark uses replicators to create drinks all the time. Yet he is often bemoaning his low margins when he effectively pays nothing for his merchandise. Why would anyone pay Quark to get drunk when they could just replicate 800 gallons of Thunderbird in their room? At one point Quark was very much into the weapons trade and selling them by the thousands but why would anyone buy a thousand phaser rifles when you could just buy one and then replicate them by the gross? For that matter let’s say the Cardassians were about to invade Bajor. In the last hour before they landed couldn’t the Bajorian government send out a message of “Um, everyone on the planet go replicate a rifle and 200 kilos of high explosive. We are sending you the schematics right now.” Often times a Runabout is stranded for lack of a part but has a replicator. Doesn’t that imply some kind of solution?
For that matter what could Quark buy with latinum that he couldn’t just replicate? Sure there is probably some kind of status associated with wealth in Ferengi society but even so shouldn’t you just have a free beer tap pretty much anywhere? The economy of the Star Trek universe bugs me. Actually so do the Ferengi. Any Ferengi heavy episode sucks. Beer image courtesy of the funny t shirt category.
Star Trek Retrospective: Episode 16 Shore Leave
I admit I loved this episode as a kid but as an adult (with body hair and everything) I now kind of think of it as fairly juveniles. When I did my list of favorite Trek episodes it didn’t even make the top 20. To be honest I have always been more inclined towards the serious and depressing episodes. They just always felt like they have more gravitas.
As an adult I also have some questions about the Omicron Delta planet. If they have to technology to take McCoy’s ripped out heart and bleeding corpse and revive him wouldn’t that make the planet the destination of every cadaver in the Federation? In fact as a doctor wouldn’t Bones have an interest in some of those techniques? Seems like a season later McCoy almost had Sarek die on the operating table. Some of the Omicronian technology might have come in handy.
For that matter how about the whole mind reading thing? Seems like this planet is a treasure trove of tech for the Federation and I probably would have strip mined it to it’s molten core. Either that or just lived there and populated the entire planet with clones of Zoe, Inara, and Kaylee from Firefly. Sorry you can’t visit. (very appropriate image courtesy of the Firefly tshirt category)
the Infamous Dave Inman
Nightcrawler Review Part 1
Something weird happened while I was watching this film. I became a Jake Gyllenhaal fan.
Not that I ever had anything against him. I have always been a big Donnie Darko fan and enjoyed him a great deal in End of Watch. Even when he does mediocre crap like Source Code I generally like his performance and of course I have had a thing for his hot sister Maggie ever since Stranger than Fiction.
However last night while watching this excellent movie I suddenly came to realize that he is a great actor and have put him on the list of with performers like Denzel Washington and Brad Pitt whom I will seek to see in any film regardless of subject matter just for their performances. If those three did a remake of Fried Green Tomatoes in drag I would check it out.
So I guess I have already given away how I feel about this film and that is that it rocked. Great story, excellent camera work, tight editing, good dialog, and above all Jake Gyllenhaal my new man crush. What was great about him? He is super, duper, uber, smuber, foober creepy and engaging in a way that only true sociopaths can be. 
His fast paced and concise monolog engaged me in a way that I can only compare to Tyler Durden delivering his destruction of modern values speeches in Fight Club or Emperor Palpatine explaining to Luke how much he failed to understand the Force in Return of the Jedi that I love so much. (retro Fett image courtesy of the my collection of Star Wars t-shirts) Plus I don’t know if it was makeup, camera work, lighting, his own face, or just emoting so great it translated into his look but Jake definitely had the insane crazy eyes going that will have you squirming in your seat.
If you look at this film as a character study of a true nut job I think you will get the most bang for your buck. He is truly out there and each scene just shows you how much out of touch with actual humanity he is. Jake has always done crazy well (i.e. Donnie Darko) but it now all previous films seem like prep work for this movie. Sorry to gush on about his performance so much but the man truly nailed this film.
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Nightcrawler Review Part 2
That is not to take away from writer/director Dan Gilroy. The script and screenplay were excellent. The direction nigh flawless. This is his first directing debut and honestly I can’t wait to see what he does next. Given the amount of raw sewage that is pumped out of Hollywood on a weekly basis it’s very refreshing to see someone with talent get his moment to shine and not blow it.
In a normal review this is where I would say something like “for all that it did have a few problems…” and then list them in detail but I honestly can’t think of one. If I were still doing the old stars/black holes system this film be one of the very rare zero black hole films. The only criticism I can offer is while I enjoyed all 117 minutes immensely I honestly don’t feel any need to go back and see it a second time. I don’t think there will be anything to gain from a second theater viewing and will be happy to watch it on a couch at movie night. I felt the same way about Argo (another film I verbally orgasmed about) whereas certain movies (Guardians of the Galaxy) keep sucking me back into the cinema.
I’d like to offer one more comment and that is how much I enjoy seeing Bill Paxton in films like this. I’m sure everyone remembers him as either Hudson from Aliens (“Game over, man! Game over!” Image courtesy of the horror movie t-shirts category) or Chet from Weird Science (“How about a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?” but I became a fan when he played Severen in the greatest vampire movie of all time, Near Dark (basically white trash vampires with guns. “I hate ’em when they ain’t been shaved.”)
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Nightcrawler Review Part 3
Story recap. Louis Bloom (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a down and out sociopath and petty thief when he comes across an accident being filmed by news stringer Joe Loder (Bill Paxton). Louis realizes there is money in it and trades a stolen bike for a camera and police scanner. He starts filming accidents and crime scenes and selling them to desperate news director Nina Romina (Rene Russo. Remember her being naked in like 50% of the Thomas Crown Affair? I sure do. She also played Frigga in Thor, which is both a great film and an awesome character name. The Norse did it right. 
Thor image from the comic book t shirts collection). He learns quickly and in short order is creating news as much as filming it. He extorts Nina into sleeping with him in a skin crawlingly creepy scene and steadily increases his skills and value to the network. He gets involved in a major crime and films all of it.
5 of 5! Excellent!
So worth seeing or not? Hell yes. You are a fool if you don’t go see this film. Every scene with Jake in it will have you glued to the screen and every scene has him in it. Date movie? In the sense of a film that will encourage your date to get naked with you no but in the sense that you care about your date and want her to see an excellent movie yes. Bathroom break? Hold it dude. This film is worthy of you wetting your pants. 5 of 5 phasers.
More to see soon but I am still working on those social commentary blogs that I think I need to share with the world. I’ll post them soon. Thank you all for reading . I hope you all have a great night.
The Infamous Dave Inman
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Star Trek Retrospective: Episode 17 the Squire of Gothos
I have to admit I love this episode. There was something about Trelane that I loved. Perhaps it was the fact that the crew of the Enterprise is always better when faced with a vastly superior adversary. Also it drives Kirk nuts when someone fails to take him seriously and that is fun to watch.
Star Trek was never above recycling props from old episodes and reusing them later on and I have to give this episode massive props (haw!) for the best reuse when they took the Buffalo costume from The Man Trap, put in on a mannequin, and put it in the corner as a stuffed trophy in Trelene’s mansion. The fact that Kirk and the others never even remarked on it is even cooler. 
Possibly the first real example of a great sci fi Easter Egg like when a Star Wars Imperial Shuttle flew over the space port in Firefly (Image from one of my personal Firefly tshirts). Perhaps they just assumed Trelene had killed a buffalo in his travels, although it later proved he had simply created it along with the rest of the planet.
Honestly the “twist” of Trelane really being a child is a little prosaic IMO. I’m sure it was mindblowing back in the day but honestly the real enjoyment of this episode is in the crew and how they deal with him.
the Infamous Dave Inman
Ouija Review Part 1
What’s better than a horror movie where lots of scary stuff happens? How about a horror movie where no scary stuff happens?
This is a film that suffered from the Curse of the X-Files. The problem the X-Files suffered from was every time you were 100% convinced you were about to see an alien, ghost, Bigfoot, or chupacabra only to have it turn out to be a cat or some damn thing. X-Files was 85% set up, 14% misinterpretation of data, and 1% actual aliens.
That’s not to say it’s a bad formula. The X-Files was wildly successful and that formula rocked for setting atmosphere and that is what this film also does. If setting up creepy situations is your goal this film could be your YouTube instructional video. The problem is when it actually came time for something to happen the creepy atmosphere stopped off at the Hum Drum Truck Stop and took a little snooze in the back seat of its car.
The story is pretty much the love child of an episode of Supernatural mated with Scooby Doo (image courtesy of the cartoon t shirt category). I have to admit serious disappointment in the level of creativity displayed here. The story was every bad horror/ghost cliche done in a dead boring order. Why not have the Ouija board be a key to a portal to the Lost City of R’Lyeh and the kids have to wander around trying to avoid Cthulu and his minions. Of course at that point the movie would have been a rip off of Hellraiser II but honestly it would have been a lot more fun. How about the Ouija board is connected to the ghost of a girl killed by a serial killer and she is trying to give them clues to who it is before he kills off half the local high school? The police are desperate to find him but no one believes the kids except for one desperate cop out for revenge for his daughters death (in this case played by James Woods). Either of these stories would have been better than the formulaic dross this film is comprised of and I just thought of them while sitting here at my desk.
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Ouija Review Part 2
There is one thing about this film that I love and that is it shows that once in a while Hollywood can learn a lesson. You see this is another Hasbro property and after they massive success they had with the Tranformers series they clearly thought that the nostalgia of their toys and games is what sold that Micheal Bay brain drain and so they sank a ton of money into Battleship, the worst navel film since the Final Countdown. When their nine figure exxxxxxxxxxxxxxtravaganza went on to suck and die they must have had a “What the hell are we doing??” moment and took the budget for their huge horror release Ouija down from a ridiculous $100,000,000 budget to a much more reasonable teenage slasher $15,000,000. Net result: a decent box office return on a reasonable property. Let’s hope they keep this lesson in mind when it comes time to do the Candyland movie. (Image courtesy of the Transfomers t shirt category)
But the warm feeling I get from that lesson does not diminish the issues with this film. Characters in films are appealing when they act smart in the face of difficulty. These kids were freaking idiots. A key plot point was in order to appease the ghost they twice had to sneak into a basement and find the corpse of a girl and either free or burn it. At no point did any of them think to call the police and say something like “Um, we think there’s a human corpse in the basement over here. Could you like send over the coroner and take care of it?” Nope instead let’s load up on flashlights Goonies style and creepy crawl into your impending deaths. Everyone keeps dying solo and so let’s all split up to expedite the killing. Of course beautiful early 20 year olds playing high school students (plus guys who more or less look and act like more like chicks) are at the top of my list of people I like to see die horribly in horror films so by the end of this movie I was seriously rooting for the ghost.
Of course it should go without saying putting a PG-13 stamp on a movie that claims to be horror is laughable in every sense of the word. PG-13 is the worst. In fact you can rearrange the letters in PG-13 and get it to spell suck.
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