Nerd Dating: the greatest date ever-movie night in-Part 2 the cleanup
Yesterday we talked about how having her invite you over for a movie is in most cases a good thing. What, on the other hand, if she wants to come over to your place?
To be honest, this is 100% a test. She want’s to see what kind of place you live in, if you actually have furniture and not just milk crates, and make a more accurate assessment of what your probable net worth is. This is actually a huge pain in the ass as it requires you to do a ton of prep work, mostly in the cleaning department.
Yes, you will have to clean up, and not in the “Just run the vacuum around the living room” sense. Before even cleaning the grime and crud out you have to clean up your life. This means get all forms of pornography out of your place. If you feel the need to store them put them in your garage but I guarantee if you just stuff it all into a closet at some point in the evening Murphy’s law will dictate that you or her will find an excuse or need to go into your stash and will be rewarded with an avalanche of magazines and old DvDs. Move it out of there.
By the way, if you are planning to watch the movie on your DVD player be sure to empty said DVD player of whatever you were watching the night before. I can’t stress that enough. If she sees you unload a DVD she will see it as an opportunity to gain a clever insight into your personality, and if the last thing you were watching was porn or Jackass or whatever she could really get the wrong (or right) idea. Same goes if you are going to stream NetFlix. Make sure you que is not visible if you have anything embarrassing.
Second, get rid of anything you bought while in college, even if you are still in college. This means that poster of the two hot girls kissing on the bed, the other poster of the thong wearing girl bending over to reach into the refrigerator full of beer, the poster of different kinds of pot, the bear bong, the bong, the moldy couch that smells vaguely like a dead dog, the St. Pauli Girl neon sign, the lava lamp, the samurai sword, the collection of novelty shot glasses, any anything else that reminds you of your Freshman year college dorm.
Third, arranged a pleasant movie watching environment. Furniture is pretty much required. Couch>futon>easy chair x2>easy chair x1>bean bag>folding chairs>old mattress>picnic cloth on the floor>carpet>hardwood floor>concrete floor>dirt floor. A coffee table for drinks is great. TV positioned at a good angle and distance with remote on coffee table. Make 
sure your wires are hidden and are not creating a fire hazard. Put the Xbox or whatever game console you use away, along with all the games (Bioshock image courtesy of the video game t shirts). A couple of throw pillows and a comfy quilt folded up at the end of the couch will add a lot of she is in a snuggle mood. A candle or two will add mood. Also make sure you draw the blinds. Girls will not generally make out with you if they think that there could be someone watching.
Fourth, minimize your nerd hobbies. I know, that is more or less contrary to what I have been preaching since starting my blog about being proud to be a nerd, but great deeds require great sacrifices. At this point odds are she knows you are a nerd, but you don’t want to keep reminding her of it even if you met her at a comic book convention or something. I am sure you want to fantasize about her being a super model. Odds are there is a piece of her brain that wants to fantasize about you being one of the cool kids. You don’t want to burst her balloon by having your Warhammer miniature painting table right next to the couch, of your souvenir Starfleet Academy graduation certificate framed above the TV. Shove it all into a closet or spare room. You will have plenty of time for that after she is your girlfriend and her fantasy has died a natural death.
I have to get going today, but will continue this process with tomorrows post. Talk to you soon.
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