A Guide to Nerd Guys Meeting and Dating Women: Pants
Pants is pretty basic for men. It is hard to mess up (although trust me, there are ways to make it happen). I’ll run over some quick do’s and don’ts.
Pants should be comfortable, clean, and in good repair. Dark colors are best. Don’t go too baggy unless you have a legitimate reason for it. In casual situations jeans are fine. In slightly more formal (quality bar rather than dive/sports bar) Chinos or slacks, although good jeans are OK. Formal situations slacks for sure. Pants should cover your socks entirely, and about an inch of the back of your shoes. They should NEVER touch the ground. Wear a belt with them (leather, not canvas. No spikes or studs. If possible get it to match your belt at least on color). Your pants should not sag around your ass. Makes it look like you are carrying a load.
There are some things to avoid. Here is a list:
1. No striped pants. No joke. You don’t want to look like a clown, and stripes tend to make you look fatter anyway.
2. No checkered pants. Again, same stuff.
3. Unless you are in the military and actively on duty, no camouflage pants. Seriously. You look like a douche.
4. For that matter, no changes of colors of any kind. This includes flowers, images, patterns, flames, or whatever. Pants should be one color and that’s it.
5. No white pants. Total recipe for disaster.
6. No cargo pants.
7. NO SWEAT PANTS EVER! Unless you are in the gym (and then you should be wearing shorts anyway) nothing says loser slob like sweat pants.
8. Shorts are OK if you are outside on a warm day doing something physical, but generally go with long pants. Also, if your legs are somehow hard to look at (I have a friend who is grossly overweight and insists on wearing shorts at all times. His legs make my eyes sad) don’t wear shorts.
9. And as long as we are on the subject of things around your waist, NEVER, EVER, EVER WEAR A FANNY PACK! I can’t stress this enough. If your pants don’t have pockets odds are you bought some womens slacks.
Speaking of pockets, try to avoid overloading them. It breaks up the lines and makes you look weird. Wallet, keys, cell phone, and maybe a business card holder is about the limit. If you think you need more stuff you are treading in weirdo territory. Also, avoid hanging stuff on your belt. I hate those guys. You are not freaking Batman (image from the comic book t shirt section).
(I hung out with a guy at one point who opted to carry on his belt two cell phones, a pager, a PDA, and for reasons I still can’t fathom, a garage door opener. I think he finally rethought his equipment options the third time in one night a girl asked him “Is that a garage door opener?”).
Put your cell phone in your pocket.
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