By / 2nd February, 2014 / Novelty T shirts, T-Shirts / No Comments

Labor Day Review

Most of the labor was getting through this movie.

labor day

Image courtesy of the Labor Day Official Site.

Normally as I leave the theater (and sometimes before the film even starts) I have thought of a funny or clever intro sequence to my review (funny or clever in my mind.  For all I know I sound like a pretentious idiot.  My massive ego will not allow me to believe that, however).  In spite of having almost 24 hours to reflect on it this film it has not inspired any kind of wit or cleverness.  I guess that is the best way to describe it: not inspired.  Flat, predictably, hard to believe, and inconclusive.  I’m sure there is some kind of connection to the characters but that connection is lost under a pile of lovey pap and mediocre coming of age crap.

In checking out some other reviewers most of them seem to be shocked that this was done by Jason Reitman, the man behind Thank You for Smoking, Juno, and Up in the Air.  However, as a relatively newer reviewer I note that the last movie he did prior to this was Young Adult, a film that I gave the very mediocre score of two stars and one that I think is on par with this one.  My best friend says all great directors have only three really good films in them and should retire after the third one (I’m still waiting for Lucas to do his third).  Looks like Jason missed the memo.

However I think most of the reviewers out there are actually judging this film more harshly due to the fact that is is Jason Reitman.  I mean, it’s not like the film is really dysfunctional.  It has a few good moments and if you were feeling lonely and a little drunk you would probably enjoy it by yourself or with the Real Doll of your choice (mine is named Becky).  It could even function as a date movie as long as your date doesn’t mind being pandered and condescended to.

One thing I did like a lot was a supporting character played by James Van Der Beek.  I have never seen an episode of Dawsons Creek in my life and will happily do a belly flop into a pool full of used syringes and rusty razor blades before watching one, but I got to like him a lot when he played himself in The Bitch In Apartment 23.  I love any actor who is so self aware that he can play himself as an egotistical jackass.  Either that or he is SO self obsessed that he didn’t realize that he was making fun of himself.  In either case I got to like him a lot.  That show is actually really great, and for the record I would dive headfirst into the aforementioned swimming pool for the chance to go on a date with show star Krysten Ritter.  Kysten, I love you.

Also James has the coolest last name in Hollowood.  Van Der Beek.  It’s like the first two syllables are this really sophisticated, ostentatious upper class name and then it ends with Beek.  How awesome is that?  It’s like if the Queen of the Netherlands married Beeker from the Muppets.

Novelty T Shirts

Something my football coach used to tell us.

The uninspirational nature of this film I find de-motivating so I will get on with it.  Plus I need to see Nut Job in two hours so here is the story (the Nuts image I found in our novelty t shirt category.  I expect to use something similar when I get around to writing up the Nut Job review).  Adele (Kate Winslet-Titanic, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Revolutionary Road) is a single mother with a strong case of agoraphobia.  Her son Henry (Gattlin Griffith-Changeling, Green Lantern, Couples Retreat) is 13 and tries to be the man of the house, doing things like going into the bank for his mom.

While shopping for supplies Henry runs into Frank (Josh Broslin-Oldboy, No Country for Old Men, Gangster Squad), who sort of compels Adele to give him a ride.  He asks to go to her house where they find out he is an escaped convict.

Honestly if I were feeling lazy I could wrap up this recap with the sentence He fixes a few things and he and Adele fall in love.  That’s pretty much the rest of the movie.  He is hiding out and like I said, starts fixing a few things.  He was apparently convicted of killing his wife and child under somewhat murky circumstances but Adele doesn’t know that.  In spite of all that he manages to make her fall in love with him and bonds with Henry by teaching him baseball.

After knowing Frank for three days Adele agrees to flee with him to Canada.  They all pack up their stuff but their escape is hampered by about 800 things that all could have screwed it up, including my favorite Officer Van Der Beek.  Meanwhile there is a fairly pointless sub plot involving Henry meeting a girl his age named Rachel (Elena Kampouris-Jinxed, not much else) whom the makeup people decided would be best if she looked like the girl voted Most Likely to Become a Meth Head.  He has a a sort of awkward teen romance that goes no where and does nothing for the story.

Also there is this really annoying series of double flashbacks that tells the stories of how Adele got divorced and Frank killed his wife.  Oh, yeah, Henry’s father (Clark Gregg-Thor, Iron Man, Avengers) dorks it up too.  SPOILER ALERT In the end Frank gets caught and sent back to prison for 25 more years.  Henry grows up and becomes Tobey MaGuire (a fate worse than death.  Oh yeah Spider Man, Spider Man, and the Great Gatsby) and a pie man.  Adele turns into a reclusive cat lady sans cats.  The whole last 20 minutes of the film kind of sputters to a flat ending like a leaky balloon.  Frank gets out of prison and is reunited with an aged Adele for a storybook ending I guess.

The stars.

I thought all the actors did a decent job.  I do like Josh Brolin.  He plays the bad ass really well.  One star.  I’ll give a bonus star for the kid not being super annoying like most child characters.  He can actually act.  One star.  James Van Der Beek.  One star.  The film accurately captured what living in 1987 felt like without making the mistake of glorifying or making a caricature of it.  There were no Members Only jackets.  One star.  Total: four stars.

The black holes.

There was some kind of weird tonal failure going on that I can’t quite put my finger on.  It’s like the film was an eggshell and inside the egg struggling to get out was a better movie.  Reitman does ironic, not romantic.  Under that shell I think there was a fledgling ironic film that got smothered.  One black hole.  Pacing of a garden slug.  111 minutes and you will feel the film was 100 minutes too long.  One black hole.  In spite of the pacing the story seemed rushed.  Who falls in love with a criminal in three days?  Some attempt was made to give Adele the semblance of motivation to do so but that part bounced off the wall without sticking.  One star.  The flashbacks, the teenage love subplot, and pretty much everything having to do with the father really dragged the film down.  The flashbacks were borderline surreal and jarring, the love story felt fake, and you wanted to punch the real dad in spite of him secretly being Agent Coulson.  One black hole.  Another film I suspect I am really going to have to reread this review in order to remember for my 2014 recap.  Very forgettable.  One black hole.  Total: five black holes.

So one black hole total.  On the down side of mediocre.  I don’t know.  If you want romantic pap and don’t want to have to think too hard go for it.  Otherwise bail.  See it at home if you can.  Date movie?  On paper it looks like it would work but I kind of suspect that if you took a girl to this film she would suspect you are trying too hard (she would be right.  Girls tend to be smarter than you think on stuff like this).  This film is definitely not superior to buying her dinner and then spending a few hours talking with her at the coffee house.  Bathroom break?  Hmm.  The Henry/Rachel romance contributes next to nothing and there is a long scene where they go on a walk together towards the end that is very missable.

Thanks for reading.  Like I said I’m seeing Nut Job tonight.  I want to get it under my belt before the Lego Movie comes out (I am really looking forward to that one.  It looks hilarious).  Look for that review some time tomorrow.  Follow me on Twitter @Nerdkungfu.  If you have a comment on this film or my review feel free to post it here.  Off topic questions or suggestions can be emailed to [email protected].  Thanks and have a great night.

Dave

 

 


Leave a Comment