Nerd dating advice: to dance or not to dance Pt 3
Ok, more dating advice. Or rather, more advice on what to not do while dancing.
Unless you are actually at a heavy metal concert, do not do the headbanger head bob. While it is important to move your neck while dancing, it cannot be the only thing you move. Also, guys doing the head bang bob tend to be drawn towards raising one fist up in the air, again breaking the arm line.
Do not do the plant. In other words, move your feet. Dancing is an activity that requires a certain amount of coordination, and as frightening a prospect it may seem you will actually have to move multiple parts of your body at the same time. I had a friend in high school who was famous for doing the plant, and we frequently ridiculed him for it.
As cool at it may seem in concept and as good as it might look practicing in front of your mirror, do not do the robot. The robot is something an accomplished dancer does to compliment his fertile dance skill set, not the only thing he can do and start off with. Also, as good as you might think it looks in the mirror, in truth it is remarkably hard to pull off successfully and easy to look like a complete ass doing. Just stay away. (Robbie the Robot image courtesy of the movie t shirt category).
If you are not at a punk rock show, do not do the pogo. In other words, do not jump up and down like an idiot. First of all, really lame looking. Second of all, any weight issues you may or may not have will be grossly aggravated as you move in a vertical manner (keep the phrase “bowl full of jello” in mind while considering this dance move). Also, once, while at an actual punk rock club (with a dangerously short ceiling) I was doing the pogo and manage to impale my head on a sprinkler head. Not my coolest moment.
Avoid gymnastic of any kind. At no point should any part of your body except your feet touch the ground. Also, you should not be bent over for whatever reason, especially to look at your date from between your legs or any other Twister position. The temptation to do the worm or some break dancing move may overwhelm your insanity if you think you are doing well (or are really drunk), but do whatever you can to restrain yourself.
One more post on bad dance moves coming up, then we will get into good things to do while dancing.
1 Comment
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Mike September 14, 2010 at 5:40 am
Dave you slay me. I was chuckling all the way through this post. Jackie was laughing too.
I have one more piece of advice: if all else fails think jello like Dave says. Remember those sports figurines that were popular for the car dashboard a few years ago, c’mon…remember? The figurine’s head was so rhythmic, so balanced…be the head. Allow your head to hypnotize your date. Oh yeah.