Nerd Movie Reviews

Some thoughts on the new Star Wars trailer Part 8

Lightsabers…

Uh oh.  I think I’m out of pluses but still have a minus.

Minus: the three pronged lightsaber.

I honestly believe that overuse of lightsabers was one of the downfalls of the prequels.  In the original movies the lightsaber was an exotic weapon.  It was hardly ever used but when it was you knew it was serious.  Darth Vader did not use his lightsaber to deflect Han Solo’s blaster bolts in the dinning room in Cloud City.  The Emperor even derided the weapon.  He seemed to think it was more like a toy and that the pure Force was the true weapon.  On Dagobah Yoda didn’t even teach Luke anything about the lightsaber.  It was all about inner control and the flow of the Force.  In the prequels they used the lightsaber to at the drop of a hat, or the possibility of someone dropping a hat, or the presence of someone wearing a hat, or someone who has a head that could potentially wear a hat (Jayne beenie, the best hat in the ‘verse, I found among our collection of Firefly tshirts).  It got tired and way overdone and now it looks like they are going to lightsaber the crap out of this film.  Also remember what I said about trying too hard?  The three pronged lightsaber is where that came from.  In the Phantom Menace we had the awkward to use double ended lightsaber for Darth Maul.  “No way we are going to not do better than that!  You know what is better than a lightsaber with two blades?  A lightsaber with THREE blades!  Ha ha ha hahahah!”

Also can you seriously look at at that lightsaber and not envision a situation where you could totally give yourself an accidental appendectomy?  Also what is up with red lightsabers for Sith and the Rainbow Coalition for Jedi?  Does using the Dark Side turn your lightsaber red or does all that evil make you naturally inclined to go with shades of black and red?  Maybe the Dark Side midichlorians (JJ Abrams may have forgotten about them but I have not) causes a vitamin deficiency that only red light can fulfill?  If you were a Jedi trying to infiltrate some Sith would a shopping trip to Hot Topic and a color changed for your saber be enough to party with them?  Is there some kind of color setting dial on the saber?  I’d go with hot pink just to screw with the canon.

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Tags: Firefly Tshirts, Star Wars Episode VII trailer